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Bereavement Support Posts => Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room => Topic started by: Polly64 on March 10, 2017, 05:45:49 AM

Title: Not believing mum has gone
Post by: Polly64 on March 10, 2017, 05:45:49 AM

Hello everyone,
Mum died suddenly in January, 2017. The last time I saw her was on the Saturday when she needed some cough medicine and soup, as her throat was sore. She seemed happy and I can remember her smile as I left.
I woke up the following Sunday feeling that something was wrong so tried to phone mum. When I got no reply I and my daughter went round to her flat only to find that she had passed away!
Mum seemed to have been getting ice cream out of her freezer and died instantly, on her knees in front of the freezer!!!
The worst thing is that I couldn't bring myself to lie her out flat, as the ambulance lady wanted me to, I couldn't touch my own mum! I threw everything out of the way to get to her but was too scared to touch her. My husband turned up and didn't think twice about it, he laid mum out on the kitchen floor even though he and mum didn't really get on!
Mum died of heart failure and I was told it was instant, she just died, no pain and would not have known anything.
I miss her so much and all I can do for her now is to fulfill her final wishes. I sometimes feel that she is still alive and has gone on holiday, even though I have her ashes here at home with me.
Last year mum mentioned that when she died she wanted to go home to where she grew up and to be with her mum. As there was nothing I could do for her on the day she died, I am making sure her final resting place is with her mum.
Pauline x

Title: Re: Not believing mum has gone
Post by: Emz2014 on March 10, 2017, 07:39:19 AM

Shock hits us in weird ways,  we never know how we will naturally react in a situation until it happens,  so please don't feel bad about your reaction :hearts:
Is a massive shock to lose your mum that way xx

Title: Re: Not believing mum has gone
Post by: Hubby on March 12, 2017, 07:44:56 PM

Hi polly sorry to hear of your loss

Most of us experience a sense of numbness and disbelief in the early days. Such a large change in our lives seems to take a while to sink in. You will slowly start to come to terms with what had happened.

Wishing you strength.