BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM

Bereavement Support Posts => Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room => Topic started by: Deb63 on December 28, 2016, 06:35:54 PM

Title: Hello
Post by: Deb63 on December 28, 2016, 06:35:54 PM

Hi,im Deb from the West Midlands,January 2015 i lost my Mom,was the worst time in my life :(,my life hasnt been the same,i just feel i dont want to go on without her,i miss her so much.She was my friend and my rock,there for me through everything in my life,altho i have my family i still feel so alone bcoz i dont have her,i need so despereately to talk with her :(.I did have some  councelling for a while after she past  as i wasnt coping well at all....i thought it was enough,but now almost 2 yrs later i still miss her terribly,its so painful :(

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Julie Magson on December 28, 2016, 08:06:37 PM

Hello Deb.   Grief has no time limit at all, I hope it does you good to be able to write your feelings down on here, it does help me (lost my hubby this year).  :hearts:

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Deb63 on December 28, 2016, 08:12:05 PM

Hi Julie, thank you.
Its hard to live with such pain but im so glad i found this site..not many listen or understand, so i tend to bottle emotions up,thats not the best way

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Emz2014 on December 28, 2016, 10:28:52 PM

 :hug: sending a welcome hug xx

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Deb63 on December 28, 2016, 10:32:00 PM

Thank you Emz 🙂

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Hubby on December 29, 2016, 09:56:14 PM

Welcome to the forum deb63.

Losing someone who plays a major part in our lives is not something we get over quickly if at all. We learn to cope, some days better than others, but their memory will always be with us. Somebody once said that grief is the price we pay for love. We should remember that love and let it help us through our pain.

 :hug:

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Deb63 on December 29, 2016, 10:01:29 PM

Hi and thank you for the welcome Hubby, my memories of my mom at the moment cause me intense sadness, i try to remember times with her as happy ones, but they are always clouded with longing and emptiness
My heart feels nothing but pain:(

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Hubby on December 29, 2016, 10:26:02 PM

I know what you mean. It's hard to remember happy times without also reminding ourselves what we have lost.  :undecided:

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Deb63 on December 29, 2016, 10:32:07 PM

Yes..everyday is a constant reminder too, she is everywhere, a part of her, sleep is really the only time i get a little peace from thoughts,... when i do manage to sleep...: /

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Deb63 on December 29, 2016, 10:48:20 PM

There have been so many times when ive had news to tell her or just wanted a chat,and in my heart i know ill never see or hear her again, i think of that and the heartache returns.
I think if i 'avoid' everything, its not real, even tho i want to talk about her...im so confused : (

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Hubby on December 30, 2016, 11:54:28 PM

Avoiding things isn't good but I do it myself so I can't really preach.

As for talking about your mum have you thought of contacting the Samaritans. I found them a great help as it allowed me to express my feelings without the worry of letting my guard down to someone I know. It's not for everyone but it might help.

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Deb63 on December 30, 2016, 11:58:33 PM

I want to talk about her so much, but dont like how desperately sad it leaves me..

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Hubby on December 31, 2016, 12:07:44 AM

 :hug:

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Deb63 on December 31, 2016, 12:09:25 AM

 :hearts: ty

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Julie Magson on December 31, 2016, 11:09:11 AM

Deb- could you start a journal to your Mum and write down everything you want to tell her? Or even start a personal thread on here and say whether you want people to comment on it or just leave it as a place where you can get it all out?

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Deb63 on December 31, 2016, 01:25:26 PM

 i will try the journal,thank you Julie  :)

Title: Re: Hello
Post by: Julie Magson on December 31, 2016, 01:32:14 PM

Oh I hope it helps  :hug: