BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Introduce Yourself To Us All => Topic started by: Rayvon on August 04, 2016, 10:05:21 AM
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Hello everyone ,
I'm new to this group , found it this morning after looking for support groups . Lost my hubby three mths ago . It's still very raw , everyone thinks im coping quite well and I am . But I need support and somewhere to talk .
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You have come to the right place, this group has and still is a safe and secure place, with members who all know how you are feeling, i hope you can find some comfort amongst us xxx
:hug:
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Thank you
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You've found the right place Rayvon- lost my hubby 3 months ago too so we are on this journey together. :hug:
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Hi and Welcome to the Forum,like you I lost the love of my life just over 3 months ago, this is the right place to share your loss and feelings with other members,we all listen and try to help each other,keep talking on here,you will get support. :hug:
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Hello Rayvon, so sorry to hear about the sad loss of your husband, I too lost my wife almost 4 months ago, in April, I'm new to the forum too, but I've found on reading posts that others have made, that we all share similar symptoms when it comes to bereavement. We all seem to tick the same list of boxes and our behaviour after losing a lifelong partner or someone close to us, is not so different after-all.
Here you can discuss things which many of us, would never talk about or tell our family members, because in truth many people just don't fully understand, they may say they do, but the reality is they simply don't.
However everyone here has lost a love one and can empathise genuinely because often we feel the same.
Time for a wee true story.
Before my wife passed away in April, I had booked and pre-paid for a couple weeks breaks using the Premier Inn Hotels, one was in Paignton on south coast and the other in Inverness, Scotland. As I had already paid for them, I decided to go on my own, the one in Paignton was end of May. So one day during that week I am in Dartmouth sitting on a bench overlooking the river Dart, supping a tea I'd bought, and feeling very low and rather sorry for myself, as this was a place we often visited together.
Anyway I got talking to a gentleman who had sat down next to me, his name was John and was 87yrs of age, I'm 71 btw, he told me he had lost his wife 2yrs previously after 63yrs of marriage, and said he felt he could say things to me which he would never dream of saying to others. He mentioned that he still drives, and often he would put his wife's casket which contained her ashes on the passenger seat and take her for a drive, frequently talking to her, as he does often at home, he also mentioned he had contemplated suicide a few times. Adding... if I was to say these things to someone else they would likely lock me up...lol.
He told me, people are kind and often will say they understand, but unless you have experienced the same sort of loss they don't understand, anyway we eventually shook hands and went our own way, but 45mins later while walking in the town, a tap came on my shoulder, and it was this elderly gentleman, and he pushed a piece of paper with his phone number on it in my hand, apparently he lives in Kingsbridge...saying to me....if you ever want to talk to someone give me a ring, we've since spoken 4 times on the phone, a very nice gentleman indeed. If you ever read this John...Thank you my friend...you probably saved my life :hug:
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Sending a welcome hug Rayvon :hug:
Thats beautiful about your time in Dartmouth Brian. xx
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Hi Rayvon. Welcome to the forum.
People do tend to think we cope quite well after a few months but in here we know how hard it is when we close the front door and take our mask off.
Wishing you strength.
:hug:
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Thanks for your replies . It's true , people don't really understand unless they are going through it. I'm coping , I need to find a new way of doing life. My routine has gone . I was my hubby's carer and our whole life revolved around him. I kept some interests going but it was hard . It was a fight to keep them up because I was often weary with everything . Now I'm finding a way through it . I just wish I didn't have to go "through it " . :hug:
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I never used to understand. It's a steep learning curve we are forced onto whe we lose someone who was our world. I think coping is about the best we can expect in these early days even if we are barely doing it.
:hug: